Validation
The definition is “recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile.”
We all want to be validated. We all seek approval. We all like the way acceptance makes us feel. We feel loved when we are validated. But, what if we only seek validation from people? Do we ever want more validation from people and if we don’t get it, do we feel broken?
Do you ever feel like you are always seeking for someone to approve you? Validation is awesome, but when we place anything or anyone above God for that validation, we will be disappointed in ourselves and in the other person.
We are actually trying to find our identity when we seek others’ approval or validation. You may think identity has nothing to do with seeking validation, but let’s think about how validation and approval fuel the shape of your identity. If you get validation from your job, career, and/or education, your identity is wrapped up in those accomplishments. So, what happens if you lost your job? Do you lose your identity, too?
We can identify who we are by many things: clothes, style, single, married, kids, no kids, awards, etc. Often, if we can’t control these areas, we lose our sense of identity because those areas are not validating us.
Why do we seek validation—because we want to feel loved and accepted.
Only God can give us truly lasting love and acceptance in our lives.
When we put anyone or anything or any emotion in His place, we have a perversion (false reality) of love and acceptance. Jesus is the only validation that is true and secure. His validation is all through the Bible: He will never leave you or forsake you; you are a child of God; you can do all things through Christ who strengths you; yet in all these things you are more than a conqueror through Him who loves you.
Did anyone every validate you in the wrong way? For example, did they put a label on you and now you can’t shake it? I was told, “you’re stupid,” and when I would do something stupid, I would think that I was stupid, so I validated what was said to me. When we get wrong validation, it can shape our identity away from the true identity. But, we don’t understand our true identity until we get into the word of God (the Bible) and have a relationship with Jesus.
When we search the reasons why we are seeking validation, we expose the enemy’s attack on our lives. These attacks can come from the strongholds of others’ opinions we have chosen to anchor in our minds and hearts as true and valid. We gain freedom from those strongholds and the need to be validated by others when we choose to be validated by God through the power of the Holy Spirit working in us.
When we seek validation, we open the door for satan to lie to us. Then, we validate our own emotions for seeking out validation from others. You may find yourself wanting validation, and you will justify your actions to achieve that feeling of being validated. We can go from one person to the next or from one validating circumstance to the next to get what we are seeking, but no one can fill that need except God.
When you seek validation from God, it is amazing how you become the validator as an encourager to draw others back to God and who they truly are. You make that effort to validate people because you are confidant in who you are in Christ. You and I have the ultimate validator, and God really does make us feel loved, feel valued, and feel enough.
What validates you? Who validates you? These are questions that we should ask ourselves every day as a part of renewing our minds back to Christ.
I challenge you to pray this week, “God, I seek Your approval more than I seek the approval of man.”
Here are some scriptures to help you seek God’s word about validation, approval and identity: